The Upside of Shame

Our perspective matters . . .

“The Dark does not destroy the Light; it defines it. Its the fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows!” - Brene Brown

Shame is seen as a truly negative aspect that undermines growth and happiness. But what if we looked at it through a different lens for only a moment to return to its common understanding?

One aspect that separates a moral and compassionate culture from a lawless one lacking empathy is shame. It is bagged by professionals and certainly addressed in spiritual and psychological circles, but it plays a crucial part in the direction of the personality and soul. There is a paradox here from a psychological and hypnotherapy point of view. I would teach that we need to dissolve our shame-based ideas of self, but on the other hand, I would also teach that it is useful as a tool to govern the spirit. A better word may be remorse, of course. However, let us stick with easily identified words that have infiltrated our society.

Shame comes in stages and undermines all the critical events in the life of any individual well into adulthood. In our spiritual advancement, we seek to dissolve our childhood shame and stand strong on our sense of worth. There’s the paradox again. In a purely material world, shamelessness is culturally unhealthy, but in our spiritual world, being shameless is the goal. It is delusional to think that one size fits all because there is certainly a different way of processing information, understanding feelings and experiencing a sense of self between the two worlds (material and spiritual) of thought. In a materialistic world where unconscious free will triumphs over all things, natural law is bent to accommodate the whims of delusion, and shamelessness allows experiences without guidelines.

Shame can lead to conscience, remorse, forgiveness, empathy, understanding, and compassion, but its opposite leads to anarchy without any thought of consequence. Defiance and an abject lack of living individual-based considerations plague our world in the often skewed and violent ideas surrounding freedom. Freedom always comes with a price. This is non-negotiable for any living man or woman on all levels of life. My last article [https://open.substack.com…miracle-of-what-the-new-year] spoke of the two different returns to the beginning, and the idea can be super-imposed here in these examples.

Shame, whilst it can be deeply eroding, can also spark purpose, the passion to do something better, to be better, to change the nature of things and to resolve a multi-dimensional entanglement. We are not the sum of one life but of many. But, it is not my goal to convince anyone of that – that is for a future time when the correct alignment between the soul and the personality takes place. Shame cements the stage for a story production that forces the individual to choose a life’s direction, how they will address issues, and how they will feel about themselves, and it colors the landscape they journey through. Some become all too determined to do and be better. The world gains specialists, medical experts, scientists, social workers, healers, teachers, and a plethora of individuals striving to be the necessary change. For others, the path is littered with self-abuse, self-denial, self-pity, self-sabotage and self-hatred, and they may never find their way out of the shameful energy. It is a choice.

It is a journey, and as time is only a construct, it does not matter how long it takes until an individual chooses to emerge out of it. Once they take those reigns, learn about remorse, and gain a conscience, the journey takes a different turn. There is no Master who has not spent a lifetime resolving the shame that is gifted to them as a spiritual turning point. Something has to bring forth a tone or influence that forces an individual to try to work themselves out – to seek the answer to the question ‘Who am I?’ It can be very painful, disruptive and harmful to many around them, but it is a turning point energy, and whether it is harnessed as such or an individual collapses into it is the choice they make as they awaken to the soul’s desire for advancement.

What better way is there to develop a conscience and become mindful of how our actions affect others than to be affected ourselves? What better way to find that we can be compassionate and empathic than to need it ourselves? What better way is there to give forgiveness than to seek it for our own relief? These energies all lead to something even more powerful and relentless – love.

In a culture where the young are shameless, where they bully or victimize others who appear weaker, sensitive or different, there is no remorse. It is why mobile phones capture the systematic abuse of individuals or animals as if they are trophies of freedom. Shameless and spiritual freedom are two vastly different ideas that are so opposed in their direction that they are like oil and water and cannot mix. Shameless freedom seeks the movement to act out using free will without thought for others; spiritual freedom aims to liberate individuals wholly based on their own merit and self-mastery. True freedom does know boundaries . . . it is not lawlessness!

There is no argument that rape or physical force is not a truly powerful act, and yet for a brief moment, the abuser feels they are. It is very brief. That is movement acting out using free will to feel powerful, but at a deeper level – they feel powerless. That is the freedom of free will . . . it counteracts the inadequacies contained within the individual by acting out in the opposite direction. Money, belongings, materialism, addictions, vices, emotional rollercoasters, and desperate acts are all used to counteract the internal conditions of shame instead of dealing with it head-on.

Highest order: Without shame is divine. (spiritually)

Middle order: Ashamed can be a powerful motivator. (materially & spiritually)

Lowest order: Shamelessness is devoid of a natural order. (materially)

It is a part of the natural order to feel remorse and be contrite. It evokes humility, forgiveness, compassion and a loving spirit.

It is not optimal or comfortable to be on the part of the eternal journey that evokes shame-based feelings, but it is powerful enough to cause a turning point in the direction of that journey. The fork in the offered road leads to either the dark road of projected misery and shamelessness or an inner journey of self-mastery that leads to love, peace, healing, and true power. Shamelessness is a chosen condition on a mass unconscious level, ushering in a time when all the limitations imposed on a society are dropped. There are no rules (or very few) about life, and the natural order of the universe is rejected so that the rules can be bent to accommodate every whim, fancy and desire that exists at those unconscious levels.

In the natural order of the universe, marriage to beasts (animals) is considered very harmful to the soul, but in a shameless society, it is experienced as freedom – yes . . . shockingly, this is in our world as I write. We are in a time when our civilization must live through its mass unconscious thoughts and inane desires that have existed for too long. It is a time when freedom and choice separate those with a conscience from those without. This is a time when the choices presented determine the natural progression of every individual in this lifetime and beyond. If you ever read about The Bardo States (Tibetan Book of the Dead), it clearly delineates between those who have no conscience, those who don’t care and are materialistic, and those who have a conscience and are spiritually advanced.

If you have never ever paid attention to where you fit in this natural order of the universe, then perhaps it is time for you to do so.

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Image: https://www.istockphoto.com/portfolio/francescochmediatype=illustration

- Inane: is a state of mind which prevents normal perception, behaviour, or social interaction; seriously mentally ill. [Google this word!]

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